A little magic please?

One of my Flint Radio friends

2008-12-10T03:03:00.003-05:00

Jeff Wade is the program director of 103.9 The Fox in Flint Michigan. Jeff actually is the one who made sure that I was the hire as a talk show host there in Flint at WWCK AM another station that he managed until I came along and he handed the baton to me. Below is a newspaper article that appeared in the Flint Journal in their Holiday Hero section. I wrote the nominating letter to the Journal. I think after reading the article you will understand why.

Radio Personality, Jeff Wade, raises money for Old Newsboys

by David Harris | The Flint Journal
Tuesday December 09, 2008, 9:26 AM

Ryan Garza | The Flint Journal

"If we can help one single young mom from crying herself asleep on Christmas Eve because she doesn't have presents for the kids, then it's been all worth it," said Jeff Wade about the donations he collects while living in a recreational vehicle.

BURTON, Michignan — Jeff Wade thinks about what it's like for a child to wake up on Christmas Day with no presents.

It's a thought he cannot stand.

So each year, the 53-year-old Grand Blanc man lives in a recreational vehicle for a week to raise money for Old Newsboys of Flint.

Wade, the program director at classic rock station WRSR-FM (103.1) "The Fox," goes around Genesee County collecting donations.

"When kids go back to school, they all ask, 'What did you get for Christmas?'" said Wade, who is the vice president of the Old Newsboys board. "If they say, 'nothing,' then that's something that is going to affect them for a long time."

The RV has a big poster on its side to promote the fundraiser. Wade sits in the RV waiting for people to come by.

People may donate $20 to sponsor a child. Some have donated upward of $500.

On Monday, his third day of collecting, Wade was in the parking lot of Applebee's on Court Street in Burton. He collected about $1,800 that day and hopes to gather $18,000 for the week.

This is the third year of the RV radio marathon. Wade broadcasts his morning show from the RV and does live feeds from the RV twice each hour throughout the day until about 6 p.m. He encourages people to come by and drop off a donation. Toys also are accepted.

"It hit me on Christmas morning (last year), when I reflected on the week, that there are 900 kids waking up with a gift from Santa in part because of the work we did," he said.

"It's a pretty good feeling -- that picture of seeing kids opening their presents."

Wade said eating and sleeping in an RV isn't so bad. He said it can get a little cold sometimes, but the cause is worth the effort.

Wade's wife, Ruth, said her husband always is thinking of others. She visits her husband often, spending the night with him when she can.

John-Roman Domanski, a former talk show host on WWCK-AM (1570), helped out during Wade's RV week last year. He said what struck him most about Wade's work was his sincerity.

"This goes beyond a radio stunt, and I have been in radio for 35 years," said Domanski, who now lives in Tallahassee, Fla. "This guy lives this stuff. There is a huge difference between trying to do public relations stuff and being a person of their convictions."

Wade grew up in Flint, graduating from Flint Southwestern in 1971. He worked for General Motors for about four years after school before beginning his 30-year career in radio.

His father was a longtime GM employee. He said he has a soft spot for GM workers, especially for those who have fallen on hard times.

"I understand what it's like to grow up as a blue-collar kid," Wade said. "I can relate to the families of Flint."

As people come to the RV, Wade greets them with a handshake and a smile. He calls all the guys "brother" and listens to their stories.

Many donate because they were helped as a child, Wade said.

Don Dawe, 53, of Burton, a retired Delphi employee, donates each year. He donated $100 Monday.

"It's a wonderful cause," he said. "I always make it a point to make donations."

Wade tries to live by the motto that people are remembered not for what they take, but for what they return.

"Nobody is going to remember you by what house you owned or what car you had," he said. "They are going to remember you by what you gave back."

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!!

The kid update.

2008-10-04T14:13:00.002-04:00

Time to update what is happening with the kids.

Dave has been attending University of Central Florida for the past 4 years and has enough credits to graduate.
Last winter he came to us and asked about staying one more semester. I said NO. Now before you jump up and down with conclusions, hear the rest of the conversation.

When I said no he sat there with a very dumbfounded look on his face. My answer was not what he expected to hear in no form what so ever.
I explained that life can really throw curves at you blowing up the best intentions and plans into smithereens. If he was going to stay in school it should be to complete his master's degree not just one more semester. His smile returned. So now in his fifth year the goal comes closer to reality.

Nikki
Holy Cow! What can you tell a 20 year old that they don't think they know already. Some of you have been through this before.
She has a huge heart but I swear some of the Domanski stubbornness rubbed off on this child.
She may not be mine by birth but sure shows me pictures of myself all too often.
Nikki is now a sophomore at Florida State and is fast on her way to being a junior in less than a year and a half.
She recently changed her major from nursing to childhood development. She is ms. social butterfly and is loving every minute of college except for living at home.
The facts are this. She is seldom here. She would prefer to live near campus. (seven long miles away) But her father and mother and I presented a united front and she is home. Financially it is the smartest thing but for her....that's where the stubborn part begins. It took a bit of doing but she is coping with it fine and is the poster child daughter I never had.

John Taylor
John Taylor is now a freshman in high school and is playing for his second year in Band. I first learned how to play the drums in high school. Taylor has left me in the dust. (Not hard to do mind you) He was one of two eighth graders asked to join the High School Band and is living a breathing Drumline all the time. His social and school schedule leaves very little time for anything else and is probably the reason his mother sees little of his help at home. He has made a life for himself outside of the house and lives it with passion.
He texts me messages several times a week despite me telling him that 54 year old men do not text. He laughs it off and does it anyway. I love his sense of humor.

Alex
When your the last child at home you sometimes feel very lonely. Alex, dealt with that hand has managed to adapt ever so slowly into what I now think is a comfortable place for him.
He is now a cub scout and pulling great grades in school. He is now in third grade and reads three years ahead of his peers.
I am proud that he is using his imagination to write. His stories and language use are way beyond his years. Where it comes from we all know but WOW. I wish I had the command of language that he has at that age. I hope it serves him better in years to come than it did me.
Through all of this he still wants to challenge me to wrestle on the floor with him or cuddle up on the couch for one of his favorite movies provided that I make the popcorn. Good Times!
He too has a great sense of humor and loves making fun of mine. He thinks my humor is way too dry and needs to be a bit more wet. His words not mine. Gotta love him.

Winter 2007 in Michigan

2008-10-04T13:37:00.005-04:00

Time to bring everyone up to date. It has been just a few days short of a year since I posted.
Above are pictures of our 12 inch snowfall last year in Michigan.
It was gorgeous but indeed dangerous for all who were inept enough to attempt travel.
These are pictures taken at the farm we rented and lived in for five years.

John Taylor and Alex are shown having the time of their lives playing and wallowing in the snow.
The snow hung on the branches of the trees and made quite the picture for this photographer to take and take them I did.

John Taylor disappeared from the inside of the house within minutes of waking up that morning. Grabbed the shovel and went to work clearing the sidewalks and making a path to the cars and the garage. All with no coaching. It made for a very large smile on this father's face as his mother is always telling me how he never wants or offers to help at her house in Tennessee. I must admit it is something that I have never seen from him. He is always doing or volunteering to help with everything and for that he makes me very proud. I think it is the old thing of either being asked to help or being told to DO IT. I have always asked.

Alex and JT are both wearing the standard wearing apparrel of the north. Carhart Jackets. They were one of their main gifts for Christmas this year replacing very ragged, very much beyond repair jackets they used for three years prior. They are 14 and 8 years old in this picture. Live entirely different lives but remain brothers with a bond that is unbreakable. It seems that they see each other everyday rather than just a few times a year. It is one of the rewards that a father gets when he has been doing the right things and teaching his sons the right way to live. They make me laugh and smile everyday.

Happy Halloween

2007-10-31T10:15:00.000-04:00

A bald man with a wooden leg is invited to a Halloween party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his bald head and his wooden leg so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem.

A few days later, he received a parcel with the following note:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasized his wooden leg
and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he receives another parcel and a note, which says:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and, with your bald head, you will really look the part.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden
leg to emphasizing his bald head so again he writes the company another nasty letter of complaint. The next day he gets a small parcel and a note,
which reads:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of crushed nuts. Pour the molasses over your bald head, pat on crushed nuts, stick your wooden leg
up your ass and go as a caramel apple.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co

Caught and charged with fraud.

2007-10-20T14:10:00.000-04:00

Nearly three years ago I interviewed with company from Wichita Kansas. I was flown out with 20 others. Was given a battery of tests and two personal interviews. 7 people were offered jobs with the firm. I was one of them. Base salary 150,000 per year plus commissions. First month I earned nearly 25 thousand dollars. Loved the job! The paycheck never arrived. A man called Shaun Anthony Smoker ran the show. He skipped without paying anyone. 37 people had left their jobs to accept new positions with this company and build something new. Now they were left with no job and no way to collect unemployment. It gave me great pleasure to find the following the other day.

FRAUD SCHEME TARGETED
OWNERS WHO WANTED TO SELL BUSINESSES
FEDERAL INDICTMENT CHARGES

Other grand jury indictments: Immigration, sexual predator,
drug trafficking charges

WICHITA, KAN. – Richard Hagan, 46, Melbourne, Fla.; Brian Renneisen, 32, Media, Penn.; John Persaud, Boca Raton, Fla.; Cheri Persaud, 34, Boca Raton, Fla.; Shaun Anthony Smoker, 41; Andrew Wang, 34, Mount Laurel, N.J.; Marvin Randolph Hicks, 37, Canton, Ga.; and Brandon Cook, 35, Miami, Fla. are charged with defrauding business owners who hired PBS Global, Inc., to help them find buyers for their businesses.

“The defendants are accused of fax blasting small businesses throughout the United States with fraudulent offers to help them sell their businesses,” said U.S. Attorney Eric Melgren.

A 43-count indictment includes:
– One count of conspiracy to commit wire fraud
– 14 counts of wire fraud via faxed transmissions
– Six counts of wire fraud via telephone calls
– 13 counts of mail fraud
– One count of conspiracy to commit money laundering.
– Eight counts of money laundering

According to the indictment:
– The defendants worked for PBS Global, Inc., which caused thousands of unsolicited faxes to be sent to small businesses throughout the United States offering to find buyers for those businesses.
– PBS offered clients a “100 percent money back guarantee” that it would find qualified buyers for their businesses. When clients tried to claim the refund, PBS denied their claims.
– Sellers were required to pay a designated fee to PBS for acting as an intermediary with buyers, a designated sum for hiring an independent firm to prepare a valuation of the business that was being sold, and a fee for successfully matching a seller and a buyer, which would be due two days after the sale.
– PBS received very little money from completed buy/sale transactions. More than 98 percent of the money PBS received from clients was for independent third party business valuations.
– In order to deny the guaranteed refunds, PBS provided clients with sham matches. The buyers PBS claimed were qualified in fact had no interest in purchasing the clients’ businesses.
– PBS had a total income of about $18.5 million, of which approximately $293,392 came from completed buy/sell transactions.
– In order to deny the guaranteed refund, PBS provided clients with references identifying individuals who were represented as business owners who had sold their businesses through the efforts of PBS. In fact, these references were the owners of PBS or PBS analysts and had never owned a business sold by PBS.

Businesses defrauded by PBS include:
– Chamberlain’s Olde Stuff, Shawnee, Kan.
– Mike’s Plumbing, Wichita, Kan.
– Pruitt Appliance Service, Topeka, Kan.
– Southside Plumbing Too, Inc., Overland Park, Kan.
– C&E Doors, Inc., Great Bend, Kan.
– Economy Movers, Wichita, Kan.
– IMC Kansas, Seneca, Kan.
– Engine House Hobbies, Wichita, Kan.

According to the indictment, in June, 2005, the U.S. Secret Service Office in Wichita received a fax from PBS Global, Inc., offering to sell the U.S. Secret Service office. The owner of Engine House Hobbies agreed to assist in the investigation by responding to the fax. Engine House Hobbies was contacted by an appointment setter from PBS Global and scheduled with one of the company’s business analysts. The analyst represented to Engine House Hobbies that the business could be sold for up to $1.5 million and that PBS Global would guarantee a buyer for $850,000 if Engine House Hobbies would purchase a third party valuation that would cost $8,200.

The defendants face the following charges:
Richard Hagan: One count of conspiracy to commit wire fraud, 14 counts of wire fraud via fax transmission, six counts of wire fraud via telephone calls; 13 counts of mail fraud, 1 count of conspiracy to commit money laundering,
eight counts of money laundering.
Brian Renneisen: One count of conspiracy to commit wire fraud, 14 counts of wire fraud via fax transmission, six counts of wire fraud via telephone calls; 13 counts of mail fraud, 1 count of conspiracy to commit money laundering,
eight counts of money laundering.
John Persaud: One count of conspiracy to commit wire fraud, 14 counts of wire fraud via fax transmission, six counts of wire fraud via telephone calls; 13 counts of mail fraud, 1 count of conspiracy to commit money laundering,
eight counts of money laundering.
Cheri Persaud: One count of conspiracy to commit wire fraud, 14 counts of wire fraud via fax transmission, six counts of wire fraud via telephone calls; 13 counts of mail fraud, 1 count of conspiracy to commit money laundering,
eight counts of money laundering.
Shaun Anthony Smoker: One count of conspiracy to commit wire fraud, six counts of wire fraud via telephone calls, and one count of conspiracy to commit money laundering.
Andrew Wang: One count of conspiracy to commit wire fraud, 14 counts of wire fraud via fax transmission, six counts of wire fraud via telephone calls, and one count of conspiracy to commit money laundering.
Marvin Randolph Hicks: One count of conspiracy to commit wire fraud, six counts of wire fraud via telephone calls and one count of conspiracy to commit money laundering.
Brandon Cook: One count of wire fraud via a telephone call.

Upon conviction, the crimes carry the following penalties:
Conspiracy to commit wire fraud: A maximum penalty of 5 years in federal prison and a fine up to $250,000.
Wire fraud via fax transmission: A maximum penalty of 20 years and a fine up to $250,000 per count.
Wire fraud via telephone calls: A maximum penalty of 20 years and a fine up to $250,000 per count.
Mail fraud: A maximum penalty of 20 years and a fine up to $500,000 per count.
Conspiracy to commit money laundering: A maximum penalty of 20 years and a fine up to $500,000.
Money laundering: A maximum penalty of 20 years and a fine up to $500,000 per count.

The U.S. Secret Service, Internal Revenue Service Criminal Investigation, and the Wichita Police Department investigated. Assistant U.S. Attorney Alan Metzger is prosecuting.

My how time flies.

2007-10-05T16:50:00.000-04:00

I hate forgetting passwords and that is what happened to me and this blog.
Too many letters and numbers to remember for everyone and everything anymore.
PIN numbers, usernames and more passwords changing every three to six months and you can't use the last 1500 passwords you used before. aaaarrrrrrrggggg!!!!!! Hey..there could be another password. Nope...no numbers included. You must have at least 4 numbers for a password to be valid.

I know..I know...write them down. Okay...then whats good is a password if people can find them and use them anytime.

So forgive me one last time. I will try to kick start my brain and concentrate even harder before Alzheimer's sets in.

John

The Holy Rollers

2007-03-03T10:53:00.000-05:00

I was extremely amused by a news story the other day about a elementary school cafeteria in Texas. There, a worker cleaning pizza pans discovered what she described as a picture of the Virgin Mary clearly visible in the charred pan and although she had scrubbed the pan three times the vision remained.
Seeing this as a path to further enlightenment I called my old high school buddy in my hometown who operates the family business after more than 50 years. Dominick runs his familys Italian eatery. He answered the phone with his normal "Hey JOHNNY......What is going on."
I explained to him the story and asked him to see if he had any of the Holy Pizza Pans in his restaraunt.
He replied that he would not know how to tell.
I suggested to him that if we put some pizza dough on them and let them sit we could be absolutely sure the pan was holy.
He then asked how that would be possible to which I replied that if the dough took 3 days to rise we would have a winner.
Of course my friend laughed at my proposition but not nearly as hard as when I told him that we could then make an anchovy pizza and toss in a few breadsticks and feed the multitudes who would come to see the Holy Pizza Pan.
Low cost of goods always equals tremendous profit potential.

Have a great day!!!

John

2006-10-22T14:24:00.000-04:00

Earlier this month we were suprised with the earliest snowfall in recorded Michigan weather history for our area. Below are a few of the pics I took just a few minutes into the start of the snowfall. This is our home and property in the background. All together we ended up with an inch and a half of snow.

2006-10-22T13:18:00.000-04:00

Below you will find the reason for such a long time in-between posts.
I have taken on the role of program director for a news/talk station and also manage to go live 15 hours a week with a talk show of my own. Time is certainly a premium every day.
I will try to post here again from time to time to keep everyone of our friends up to date with at least some news as alot of the set up work of a turn a round station has now been completed and that should free me up a bit more. Until the next time.

The magic of 72 virgins.....

2006-06-27T20:05:00.000-04:00

I recieved this on the net this evening..thought it might bring a smile to some.

After his death, Al-Zarqawi went to heaven. There, he was greeted by George Washington, who proceeded to slap him across his face and yell at him, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!"

Patrick Henry approached and punched Al-Zarqawi in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed."

James Madison entered, kicked Al-Zarqawi in the groin and said, "This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"

Thomas Jefferson came in and proceeded to beat Al-Zarqawi many times with a long cane and said, "it was evil men like you that provided me the inspiration to pen the Declaration of Independence!"

These beatings and thrashings continued as John Rudolph, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans came in and unleashed their anger on the Muslim terrorist leader.

As Al-Zarqawi lay bleeding and writhing in unbearable pain, an Angel appeared. Al-Zarqawi wept and said to the Angel, "This is not what you promised me!

"The Angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 VIRGINIANS waiting for you in heaven. What did you think I said?"

The magic of growing up!

2006-06-21T17:21:00.000-04:00

1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hookup" and "break up".
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up".
10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@#! kids next door
won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather
than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good *&@#."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to
drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead
of asking "Oh *&@# what the hell happened?"

Bonus:

26. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't
apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.

The Magic of Immigration.

2006-06-17T10:28:00.000-04:00

Certainly all of this talk of immigration has given me reason to pause and reflect about my own background and how my family came to be here in the United States.
On my mother's side we are many generations American. So far back that no written history of her relatives arrival still exist. We can trace back to the mid 19th century with lines that were both Irish and English somewhere before that.
On my fathers side it is somewhat easier. My grandfather came over from Poland and arrived at Ellis Island and stood in line. Went through numerous tests and health certifications and was finally allowed in with his brother who soon left the country and headed for Canada never to be heard from again. My father's mother was smuggled into the country through a port in the Carolina's as a housekeeper servant and then made her way up the east coast at the age of 13 where she setteled in New Jersey and met my grandfather and were married by the time she was 14. Unusual by today's standards but not so unusual for the time. She was a bold and independent young woman who met a bold and determined man who she would remain married to until his death in 1965. More than fifty years together and 9 children, two who would pass shortly after birth.
They spent nearly every waking moment working, building and creating a better life for themselves and thier family than they would have had if they had stayed in Poland.
My grandfather a constuction and sometimes a factory laborer. My grandmother a homemaker and a buisness woman. He could read and write. She could not, but could do math in her head and manage money better than those who had the schooling to do so for years. I took her grocery shopping in her elder years and she would tell the clerk what she spent to the penny by putting the money in her hand prior to the first ring of the cash register. I saw this several times and was always amazed because during the picking out of groceries she would talk to me the entire way never seeming to be adding up the bill at the same time.

They came for a better life. A better oppurtunity for thier future children and thier children.
They did not care what job they got as long as they were working enough to support themselves and thier children with the hope that they could always progress along the way into something better yet again. They bought homes, lost a very large farm in Michigan during the depression and worked to rebuild thier life to buy yet another. The one I grew up on.

There are thousands and thousands of similar stories of those who came from other places to make their place here. Always wanting to build something better.
Build a wall and stop it from happening for others??? I for one can not do that and still pay homage to my grandparents for wanting better things for me. I dont like walls except on homes and workplaces for future Americans.

The Magic of taking a walk on the wild side.

2006-06-08T23:00:00.000-04:00

The U.S.Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, golfers and tourist in general to take extra precautions and keep alert for alligators while in the southern areas of La.,Ms.,Ala.and Fla.

They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their shoes or clothing to alert but not startle the alligators unexpectedly.

They also advise the carrying of pepper spray in case of an encounter with an alligator.

It is also a good idea to watch for fresh signs of alligator activity.

People should learn to recognize the difference between small young alligator droppings and large adult alligator droppings. Young alligator droppings are small and contain fish bones and possibly bird feathers.

Adult alligator droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper spray.

The Magic of Jerry Springer??????

2006-06-02T07:07:00.000-04:00

Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of them kept complaining of family problems.

Finally, the other man said: "You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation.

"A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter. We got married and I got myself a stepdaughter. Later, my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter, my step-mother. And my father became my stepson. Also, my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law.

"Much later, the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son. This boy was my half-brother because he was my father's son. But he was also the son of my wife's daughter which made him my wife's grandson. That made me the grandfather of my half-brother.

"This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the half-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the grandmother. This makes my father, the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father's wife, I am my stepmother's brother-in-law, my wife is her own child's aunt, my son is my father's nephew and I am my OWN GRANDFATHER!

"And you think YOU have family problems!!!"

The Magic of Three Day Weekends

2006-05-25T19:08:00.000-04:00

Do you know why God made three day weekends? Because it couldnt get all that rain packed in just two days. This year we are going to do things differently in my house....okay..we are always doing that but I am determined this year to pack up everything for camping this weekend. Drive to the gas station and fill up. Then because we will be broke to drive back home and set the tent up. I wont wait for the rain this time. I will haul out the hose and spray the tent and all our clothes and belongings until drenched. Then we can pretend we went camping and the end result of a three day weekend of the past few years will be no different.

Taylor Hicks won American Idol last night. Thank you very much. Now I can quit explaining to people that my son's name is not just a girls name. When asked how he managed to win by reporters I hope his answer was "By not becoming Paula Abdul's favorite."
Then a good portion of the country watched the last hour of Lost. Few answers there. It was like asking "So what do you think of the performance Paula?"

My last little tidbit in updating this today is that scientist claim that liquorice is an afrodiasiac.
To which Micheal Jackson is to have said upon hearing the news..."DING DING..We have a winner!" Enjoy the weekend everyone.

The magic of the english language and Immigration.

2006-05-15T07:14:00.000-04:00

Tonite the President of the U.S. will address the nation on immigration. Why so many would still like to come to this country and try to learn to speak our language is beyond me.

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. Why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese, so one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
I do think I have the answer to the problem of immigration. A thousand years ago the Chinese built a wall protecting thier border just as it has been suggested that we dol. I think thier idea works. How many Mexicans have you seen in China?

PS. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"? You lovers of the English language might enjoy this.

The magic of celebrity!

2006-05-09T07:54:00.000-04:00

I must admit that being even a local radio celebrity has had its perks from time to time but some people take things overboard.
It's the old story of celebrity -- or wannabe celebrity not getting the service or treatment he or she thinks should be afforded because of his or her "status." You've heard it a million times; "what do you mean I have to wait to be seated? Don't know who I am?" I know, it sounds ridiculous, but this current situation a congresswoman finds her in, to me, sound just like that to me.

Here's the situation in a nutshell. Rep. Cynthia McKinney, democrat from

Georgia

, was entering the capitol building in Washington, D.C. last week. She did NOT have any identification in view and was NOT wearing her congressional pin which would be identification enough to allow her to bypass capitol security. The story goes that a police officer asked her to stop not once, not twice, but at least three times before grabbing her by the arm. When he did that, the congresswoman punched the officer.
Forgetting what would happen to one of us, who are not congress people if we were to do the same thing, this legislator not only doesn't think she did anything wrong, she thinks she was wronged. Seriously!

You see, the congresswoman is African-American, and feels she was profiled. Listening to her explain the depth of the wrong done to her is not easy to swallow. She waivers between anger over allegedly being profiled to distain over how the officer didn't recognize her. Here's where the title of this blog comes into play. She literally is beside herself because this cop didn't know who she was.

Again, she had nothing in view that would suggest to anyone that she is, in fact, a congresswoman. There are well over 400 representatives in the House in Washington, and Congresswoman McKinney thinks every capitol police officer should know every representative by face and by name. That's a little ridiculous. She truly feels this person did something wrong by not knowing who she was by sight. Further, she's had a make-over recently and has a very different hairstyle. She insists that shouldn't matter and that the officer still should have known who she is. To really add a ludicrous exclamation at the end of this story, McKinney adds that she's one of only 14 black women in the House and that should be reason enough for the officer to have known who she is. This woman is completely unreasonable, illogical and is disserving her constituents.

This officer is there to protect lawmakers like her. She should have thanked him rather than punched him.

Because of her alleged violence against this officer, McKinney now may face charges. If it happened as reported, she should.

The Magic of GOLF

2006-05-07T07:42:00.000-04:00

Hauled out the clubs this weekend to bring back my swing from the grave.

1. Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: " Do you think you can keep your head down thatlong?"

2. Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."

3. Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."

4. Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually."

5. Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
Caddy: "I don't think so, sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."

6. Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction."
Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."

7. Golfer: "How do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good, sir, but, personally, I prefer golf."

8. Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?"
Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day."

9. Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."

10. Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old."
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir.".

The Magic of Sunday Morning Sex

2006-04-28T07:45:00.000-04:00

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

The Magic of Golf and the mature man.

2006-04-25T06:38:00.000-04:00

A father, son and grandson went to the country club for their weekly round of golf. Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them. She explained that the member who brought her to the club for a round of golf had an emergency that called him away and asked the trio whether she can join them.

Naturally, the guys all agreed.

Smiling, the blonde thanked them and said, "Look, fellows, I work in a topless bar as a dancer, so nothing shocks me anymore. If any of you wants to smoke cigars, have a beer, bet, swear or tell off-color stories or do anything that you normally do when playing a round together, go ahead. But I enjoy playing golf and consider myself pretty good at it, so don't try to coach me on how to play my shots."

With that, the guys agreed to relax and invited her to drive first. All eyes were fastened on her shapely behind as she bent to place her ball on the tee. She then took her driver and hit the ball 270 yards down the middle, right in front of the green.

The father's mouth was agape. "That was beautiful," he said.

The blonde put her driver away and said, "I really didn't get into it and I have faded it a little."

After the three guys hit their drives and their second shots, the blonde took out a nine iron and lofted the ball within five feet of the hole. She was closest to the pin.

The son said, "Damn, lady, you played that perfectly."

The blonde frowned and said, "It was a little weak. I've left a tricky little putt," before tapping in the five-footer for a birdie.

Having the honors, she drove first on the second hole and knocked the hell out of the ball, and it landed nearly 300 yards away, smack in the middle of the fairway.

For the rest of the round the statuesque blonde continued to amaze the guys, quietly and methodically shooting for par or less on every hole. When they arrived at the 18th green, the blonde was three under par and had a very nasty 12-foot putt on an undulating green for a par. She turned to the three guys and said, "I really want to thank you all for not acting like a bunch of chauvinists and telling me what club to use or how to play a shot, but I need this putt for a 69 and I'd really like to break 70 on this course. If any one of you can tell me how to make par on this hole, I'll take him back to my apartment, pour some 25-year-old Royal Salute Scotch in him, fix him dinner and then show him a good time the rest of the night."

The yuppie son jumped at the thought. He strolled across the green,carefully eying the line of the putt and finally said, "Honey, aim about 6 inches to the right of the hole and hit it firm. It will get over that little hump and break right into the cup."

The father knelt down and sighted the putt using his putter as a plumb. Don't listen to the kid, darlin', you want to hit it softly 10 inches to he right and run it left down that little hogback, so it falls into the cup."

The old gray haired grandfather walked up to the blonde's ball, picked it up and handed it to her and said, "That's a gimme, sweetheart. Your car or mine?"

Moral: Old age and cunning will triumph over youth and skill every time.

The Magic of High Gas Prices.

2006-04-23T18:49:00.000-04:00

High gas prices at the pump are really hitting home and will only get worse. I put a ton of miles on my car being in outside sales. The tax write off does little to really offset the cost of my car and its operation on a daily basis.
We are told the the high cost is due to increased demand to countries like China and to speculators on the stock market. That production costs have not really risen at all. Just the price.
Last week the President of China, President Hu met our President HUH?
It is really tough writing this and knowing that I helped put this guy into office. Gas prices where we live have gone up a record 240% since ole dubya took office. WOW!!!!
That is unreal and more than the average guy like me can stomach. So...the approval rating according to a FOX news survey now drops 33%. The President is urged to do something with his administration. Shake things up!!!. So he does what? Forces his press secretary to resign. The most talked about replacement..Tony Snow from Fox News. If he gets the job it will be the first time the name of the press secretary has matched the job he is to perform.
God Bless America cause we are needing it really bad.

The Magic of a Strange World

2006-04-19T06:58:00.000-04:00

Bill Gates had dinner last night with the President of China. Think about this. One has all the tea in China and the other enough money to buy it!!

Okay....another strange one.

Tom Crusie and his bride to be have a child yesterday. Brooke Shields also gives birth yesterday.
You might remember the two tangled about post partum depression and the use of anti depressants last year. What are the odds?

I am sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South, and we challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam:

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum.

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?

(A) '65 Ford Fairlane

(B) '86 Dodge Diplomat

3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?

4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many dogs will be killed?

6. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?

8. With a gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?

I betcha thought that there test was gonna be an easy one, didn't cha? It's okay if ya didn't do all that well. Just goes to show ya there's a hole heap of things that big city book learning don't prepare ya for in this life. As an added bonus for taking the "REDNECK MATH CHALLENGE", here's some southerly advice that may come in handy down the road a piece... Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop and place a delivery order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with them.

The magic of Judas, Kelly Clarkson, DIck Cheney and Simon Cowell.

2006-04-12T06:13:00.000-04:00

A man jumped the fence at the White House Monday. Dick Cheney took a shot at the guy but missed and killed a tree.

American Idol's Simon Cowell grooms his chest hair. Reportedly the caustic judge goes to a hair salon to be trimmed and pampered. All I can recall is the scene from "40 year old virgin" when the guys gets his chest waxed and screams "KELLY CLARKSON". If the hairdresser nips his nipple what does Simon say?

I watched the National Geographic special about the gospel according to Judas this week.
Some say Jesus asked Judas to betray him and perhaps actually praised him.
I can hear that conversation now. "Judas..you're doing one hell of a job!"

Magic in the News

2006-04-05T07:44:00.000-04:00

Tom DeLay has announced his resignation from Congress. Democrats think it's all about money. DeLay's an exterminator by trade, and there are more rats in Texas than in Congress.

Top 5 Stories on the First "CBS Evening News with Katie Couric"
5) 15-minute interview with the latest "Survivor" loser
4) Katie's first nightly "Eye on Cute People" special Report
3) Spotlight on the people celebrating their 100th birthday... in the U.S. Senate
2) Investigative report on Laura Bush's muffin recipes
1) Katie's latest colonoscopy... live and uncut! YUCK!!

The Bush Administration says the recovery of New Orleans could take as long as 25 years. This is good news, as before Hurricane Katrina it would have taken 50 years to fix up New Orleans.

The Magic of March Madness

2006-03-16T07:14:00.000-05:00

The first NCAA Basketball game is slated for today. This is an annual rite for families to gather around the television and follow the action together. Children need to learn that there is more to life on TV than Texas Hold'em Poker.

The NCAA tournament works like this. First they start with 65, then 64, then 32 and then 16.
Just like the President's approval rating. (thanks to Dave Letteman for the last one)

Radio guys have a magic frequency.

2006-03-13T06:13:00.000-05:00

A doctor in Vienna has discovered another reason why having an active sex life if good for you.

According to the doctor, the penis is "the antenna of the heart", and impotence can be an important warning sign of potential heart failure in men.

Dr. Stephan Madersbacher, head of urology at the Danube Hospital in Vienna, led the team of top Austrian scientists who conducted the study that led to this discovery.

Dr. Madersbacher found that men experiencing moderate to serious erectile dysfunction (i.e. impotence) had a 65% higher risk of a heart attack within 10 years. The study, which was done in conjunction with the Vienna City Council, also showed the risk of a stroke in impotent men was found to be 43% higher than in men who do not suffer erectile dysfunction.

"When erectile dysfunction is diagnosed by a urology specialist the patient should definitely be given a check up by a specialist in internal medicine," Dr. Madersbacher recommended.

He said the reason for the link is the similarity between the muscle and blood vessel cells of the penis and those in the heart. Damage to one is often an indicator of damage to both.

"If your penis is functioning well in terms of potency it is also a good sign of a healthy heart," added the doctor.

We mention that Dr. Madersbacher's study and findings as a way of reminding you that an active sex life is not only pleasurable, it is also a good indicator of a healthy heart. So keep your antennas up and operating, guys!

The magic of being the President.

2006-03-09T22:51:00.001-05:00

Bowing to ferocious opposition in Congress, a Dubai-owned company signaled surrender today in its quest to take over operations at U.S. ports. Noting Congress ferocious opposition, President Bush exclaimed, "Who let the dogs out!?"
Ever staying the course, Bush threatened to veto Dubai's surrender.

The magic of numbers from a friend.

2006-03-04T09:34:00.000-05:00

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder
to avoid hitting her.

This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and "flipped" the woman off.

"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself.

I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.

That's 96 miles each day.

Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.

Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.

There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.

That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.

That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.

Statistically, females drive half of these.

That's 18,000 women drivers!

In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.

That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding.

That's 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide.

That's 98.

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.

That's 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons, and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously
considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Flip one off? I think not.

Praise the lord and pass the magic.

2006-03-03T07:06:00.000-05:00





Big trucks, big houses and big women. They like em' big in Texas. Including their churches. America's largest Church based in Houston, TX celebrated in grand style Sunday as it moved into it's new home, the former Compaq Center. The stadium that once hosted wild rock and roll concerts as well serving as home court for the Houston Rockets will now be home to over 16,000 raving and screaming fans of Jesus. "Turn out was very low during the first hour of worship." stated Pastor Joel Olsteen. "It wasn't a big surprise to me, our opening act was Genesis". Many church goer's where very pleased with the newly remodeled rock stadium turned house of worship. One section in the Church known as the "Dogma Pound" was very popular. This is were the die hard, hardcore worshipers sat. Waving big green foam hands with "Go Jesus" printed on them. We gathered some reactions from patrons as they exited the church. Julie Newmower explained, "Before I had to go down on 3 security guards just to get back stage. Now all I have to do is accept Christ as my savior and I'm in!" "I love how they kept the score-board in place. I could clearly see that Jesus is ahead by 15 points over Satan with only 10 seconds left in the sermon" However, not all in attendance were one hundred percent satisfied with their new chapel. "10 Dollars for a Bottle of Holy Water is an outrage!" said Ethel Johnson. "I was trying to signal for a hot dog vendors attention, when the next thing you know, I'm dedicating my life to Christ!" explained Joe Harrington. "During the hymnal "Rock of Ages" I was swept into a mosh pit that broke out first 3 pews. No more floor seating for me!" said Ilene Martinez. A few other members were disappointed not by the Church itself but for the fact that, as usual, Jesus was a no show. "I couldn't believe that he didn't show up, he was the headliner for God's sake! We built this Texas sized church for him, and he doesn't even bother to make an appearance via satellite on the big screen. I'm always told to just have faith in him, he will perform next Sunday for sure." exclaimed Martha Quaidly. One unique concept that this church has adapted that no other church in the United Sates has, is the "no passing of the collection plate" policy. All services are sponsored by Miller Lite, Budweiser and SBC.

Magic that brings you back again.

2006-03-01T22:13:00.000-05:00

This blog has recieved more visits this week than anyother week since it began. Please leave a comment regarding what brings you back or even made you visit if this is your first time.
I want to make this so you read it time and time again and unless you freely give feedback I would be shooting in the dark. (please notice no Dick Cheney joke this time)
So leave a comment and then be off the to next site knowing you helped someone (meaning me) with a random act of kindness.

March Madness or Magic?

2006-03-01T06:47:00.000-05:00

President Bush is making a surprise visit to Afganistan this morning then its off to India.
Last week he met with American workers. Today he visits thier old jobs.

The Oscars are Sunday. ABC is charging 1.7 million for every commercial. Just about the same amount I paid for tickets, popcorn and a coke last time we went. The Oscars are a place where the stars come out and stand on thier platforms and yell about the injustice of poverty and oppression and then take their complimentary baskets of goodies and walk thier $40,000.00 designer dressed fannies back to the Mercedes and go home.

Some of my favorites passed away during the last few days. Dennis Weaver and Don Knotts. Many have said I bear a resemblance to Knotts. I tell them I am his son and that Dad would be proud to hear it.
Don use to carry only one bullet in his pocket for use in his role as Barney Fife because he almost shot himself or was that Dick Cheney?

Another old radio friend passed two weeks ago. Don Keyes. You may not know him by name but chances are you heard his work. Don along with Gordon Mc Clendon were founders of Top Forty radio and All News Radio. Don never really got the credit he deserved. In fact his praise was always for others. I met Don in Tallahassee Florida where he struggeled with an AM station he had bought. He and I would compete for state contracts for narration work. His voice was deep and golden toned. I hired away his best employee to become my partner for one of my most successful morning jobs of my career rating wise. Don thought our show was major market potential. It was about the only thing he was wrong with I think in his radio career.
I will alway remember his laugh and smile.
God rest and bless his soul.

The magic man vs woman.

2006-02-28T08:48:00.000-05:00

An English professor wrote the words: "A woman without her man is nothing." on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.

All of the males in the class wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing."

All the females in the class wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing."

I'm Mad Magic.

2006-02-27T06:30:00.000-05:00

As a member of the media I may be one of the few who know this but today the movie "Network" will be released on DVD. It is the 30th anniversary of the movie's debut. You might remember the famous line by Peter Finch. "Im mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore.
The movie plot was about risky buisness deal with an Arab company. The plot was considered so absurd the movie was released as a comedy.
Speaking of the fact that our government wants to turn over the ports to an Arab company I thought I might mention that Mexico is considering making Exlaxx and exporting it to the U.S.
Enjoy the day and dont forget to plan your gourging of everything on Fat Tuesday.

Has the magic gone out of westerns?

2006-02-26T09:32:00.000-05:00

Even though I still love my cowboy boots I have been amazed at the outbreak of populartity that is known as Brokeback Mountain. Pardon me if I dont jump on board. Therefore I thought that it would be appropriate to offer the list of other titles that were considered by the producers of the film but did not quite make it to the big screen for some reason or another.

They are as follows:

Prances With Wolves
Jeremiah's Johnson
The Pleasure of the Sierra Padre
Butch Assidy & the Bundance Kid
How the West Was Hung
The Legend of the Long Ranger
Lonesome Doug
Hi, Plains Drifter!
The Magnificent Seven... Inches
Quickly Down Under
The Good, the Bad & the Fabulous
Silver-rod-owww!!
BUT WAIT>>>>THERE IS MORE!!!

Two Tools For Mister Harrah
Why-it Hurt
Saddle On My Back Again
My Darling Clem, All Tied
Silly the Kid
The Sot Who Manned Liberty Valance
Unprotected
The Ox-Blow Incident
True Grip
The Buns of Katie's Elder
The Gerbil Whisperer

That time of life....

2006-02-23T06:55:00.000-05:00

A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynecologist. "Come now," coaxed the doctor, "you've been seeing me for years! There's nothing you can't tell me."

"This one's kind of strange..."

"Let me be the judge of that," the doctor replied.

"Well," she said, "yesterday I went to the bathroom in the morning and heard a plink-plink-plink in the toilet and when I looked down, the water was full of pennies."

"I see."

"That afternoon I went to the bathroom again and, plink-plink-plink, there were nickels in the bowl. That night," she went on, "I went again, plink-plink-plink, and there were dimes and this morning there were quarters! You've got to tell me what's wrong with me!," she implored, "I'm scared out of my wits!"

The gynecologist put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "There, there, it's nothing to be scared about.

.......

(Ready for this?)

.......

(I'm warning you.....)

.......

(Still not too late....!)

.......

"You're simply going through the change!"

Oh my...another magic holiday.

2006-02-20T07:08:00.000-05:00

Today is President's Day. All government offices are closed today. No one will be working. Signs will be posted so the public knows the difference.

John Micheal Montgomery the country singer was arressted and charged in Kentucky on gun and drug charges. Good news is that he finally has something to write a country song about.

My funny Valentine

2006-02-14T07:41:00.000-05:00

Now that I am back in radio doing mornings I have found that I am reverting back in time to a place where my brain actually reacts quicker each passing day. I look at things from every angle.
Today is Valentines day so as I sit here with wings, bow and arrow and sitting in a diaper let me pass on some the the things I have thought of the past few days.

Vice President Cheney shot a guy while hunting quail in Texas.
Animal activists should be happy. Not a single quail was harmed.
Besides..it was an accident and the guy was a lawyer. What's the big deal?

Michelle Kwan dropped out of the Olympics because of an injury. The Vice President claims he was in Texas the entire time.

Micheal Jackson was seen flying on a domestic flight over the weekend. I think I would rather sit beside the Fat Guy then him anyday.

Major storm in New York City over the weekend. 26 inches of the white stuff in Central Park alone. FEMA is now considering sending someone to rescue squirrels out of trees but are waiting to see what local officials think.

Happy Valentines Day and Enjoy the day.

WHERE HAVE YA BEEN JOHNNY BOY?

2006-02-03T08:44:00.000-05:00

Ok ok ok....I have not been a good blogger and updated this in awhile. The reason is simple.
I have a new job. Back in radio and on the air again.
Been really busy but it beats selling furniture anyday. I hated the fact that my job was getting to me in a big way. I was hating retail, the public, furniture and my life.
Not anymore. I am having more fun than the law should allow.
Programming a Hot Adult Contempory station and doing mornings. No more scrambled eggs for brains.
More to come on this blog soon. Thanks for the emails. I never take friendships for granted and thats why you all got a reply...sometime late but a reply just the same. Gotta go make more magic in the morning so bye for now.

I need the magic!!!!

2005-11-15T22:21:00.000-05:00

I hate my job. It is true to the very last word. I HATE MY JOB.
I sell furniture to a public that could care less about quality or where it is built or even how long something might last them. If it is made in China....so what. (90 percent of furniture is now imported from there to the U.S.)
I work with sharks, thieves, people with no ambition to better themselves and it is killing me each and everyday.
My mind I fear will rot should I continue to stay. I fight each and every day to keep what little sanity I have left intact.
I could recount hundreds of tales in this blog if not thousands and each one would only prove my point time and time again with little if no room for error.
I feel trapped for a number of reasons, paying the bills not withstanding.
Our american way of life of working hard and progressing up any ladder for the betterment of yourself or family is fast becoming the antique way of life. Or at least that is what the bulk of corporate america would like it to become and from my perspective they may well be succeeding.
Tonight I suffer from extreme frustration caused by customer and co-worker alike.
I work in a place where common courtesy is ignored. Rudeness rules the day and incompetence is rewarded and even bragged about. Why do people choose to live thier life this way?
Simple hello is tossed back in your face with the motion of talk to my hand.
Caring about image for the sake of future business is forsaken. Replaced with instant gratification of getting the money now and the hell with tomorrow's buisness. Integrity be damned. Who cares about integrity. "That is old school."
We are building business with a wing and not a prayer each and everyday and will wonder why our business is no more when the close the doors forever. When jobs no longer exist because we exported all of them what will be said then if anything from those I work with who remain silent when they are being violated each and every day and refuse to say anything louder than a whisper in their own defense. The door they knock on will not be answered. If in thier frustration they finally choose to kick it down they will only find no one to complain to unless they call a toll free number answered by someone in a far a way land that cant understand english nor any of its slang.
I know I am not alone in feeling this way. Not even in the furniture store I work in. But no voice besides mine speaks up. Apathy wins each and every time.
I have had enough. It is time to get serious about moving on. I choose not to live this way. And I choose not to remain silent about it. Pass the fairy dust from Tinkerbell. I need to fly again.

The Magic of Laughter

2005-11-08T08:59:00.000-05:00

Today it was finally on the television, radio, newspaper and the internet. Women laugh more than men. In fact the study went on to say that women have a far better sense of humor than thier male counterparts.
And this is news?
At least it is not news to me nor is it news to nearly any woman that has met me over the years.
I have always been fortunate to make women laugh. At times even hysterically.
In high school every girl would giggle when I walked down the hallway. When asked for a date the giggle grew into chuckles.
In my adult years I could enter into any room and you would think I was the resident comedian with the laughter that ensued.
In both marriage one and marraige two I recall my honeymoon nights being filled with laughter from the women in my life the moment I walked out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel.
I would walk casually to side of the bed and gently drop the towel prior to crawling in. In both cases my wife looked at me, started pointing and began laughing uncontrollably.
Both wives laughed at me in the respective courtrooms as well.
Women laughing more than men. Imagine that.

Magic Mosaics are better in Michigan

2005-11-03T17:07:00.000-05:00

A couple of my friends have a blog that recently touted the beautiful fall colors of their state Wisconsin.
NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH!
Michigan's colors are far more vivid with blazing leaves of red and gold.
I like my friends a great deal. We have known each other for nearly 20 years but this touting of thier view from a picture window in the chesse state is really cheesy without doing a just comparison of other states in the region.
Michigan's color tour still has a few weeks left at best and I for one will enjoy not just the colors surrounding our little corner of 67 acres but will enjoy each Sunday drive that is left.
My friends also recently sent an email speaking of a possible visit soon. I bet they wait and put it off so that a fair comparison will have to wait another year. That is what friends do...a little friendly competition of of sorts with trivial things. It is always more fun being friends that way!!!

2005-10-08T08:08:00.000-04:00

Sometimes you have to get angry when you read something that does not strike a good chord. I am not speaking of the countless story upon story of a child molester on the pages of the paper but instead this time of corporate america.
Several years ago General Motors spun off one of their divisions called Delphi formerly known as A.C. Sparkplug.
Now Delphi is hurting bad and has threatened to file bankruptcy. To avoid this, they have asked the United Auto Workers to take BIG cuts in pay and benefits. Not temporary, help the company out cuts but forever cuts.
Some workers now making 25 dollars or more an hour would make under the agreement only ten to twelve dollars an hour. WHEW!!!!
More than half of all pay and benefits would be gone forever. FOREVER!
And here is the part that I fear for those people and for the rest of the working class of America.
If this happens here with Delphi then General Motors will do the same within a short period of time. Then Ford, then the rest of corporate America will follow suit.
Each big and small employer will say to thier workers. "You either take what we give you or we are shutting the place down."
"We are already rich from this thing and our boards have given us wonderful golden parachutes should we close down so we dont care! Our lives will be virtually undisturbed..How are you going to make your house payment and pay your bills with no place to work any longer?"

I think this is the return to a split United States. The Have and Have Nots.

In my own company a Regional Manager told me that the company's unwritten policy is to keep all sales people earning only an average of 36 thousand per year. If the store volume increases and the average for any store exceeds that amount. The managers are instructed to add additional sales people. Under that scenario there is never any reward for being excellent at your job. The company will always stack the deck against you.
This year already, our company cut some of our commisions back 10 percent but increased our quotas for sales 25 percent. If you dont make quota a total of 4 times in any 12 month period you will be shown the door.
The greed of the corporate culture is out of control and it is no longer just the Enrons of the world. It has finally filtered down. Our economy here in the U.S. will be that of a Taco Bell employee. Low pay, no benefits, and all service oriented. Service to the Haves who will keep the Have Nots down forever with few if any chances to provide for their familys in a better way than the day before.
I wonder whether we allowed it. We no longer manufacture most items we consume. We have shipped most of those type of jobs overseas. Now even service jobs are headed that way as well.
They call it outsourcing. Care to make a airline reservation? The voice on the other end is proably from India or Pakistan or another English aware country that will accept low pay so that excecutives here can line thier pockets with one more layer of cash that might have gone to your family if the job would have stayed here. The whole shooting match is suffering and will continue to suffer with Dominoe effect. If one does it others follow.
Life may not be the Magic Party we hope for but at this rate, we wont be able to dance without music.

The answer to the mystery

2005-10-01T07:29:00.000-04:00

Hope you had fun guessing the mysterious Michigan holidays.
The answer is: Today October 1 kicks off bow season for deer hunters while Nov 16th the gun season opening day.

The magic of Fall.

2005-09-29T11:46:00.000-04:00

It hit. It is here. My favorite time of the year. Jacket wearing, blustery wind, leaves blowing across a mowed and manicured lawn. It is Fall and I love it.
Today the temp will be only 59 and the wind is blowing in from the northwest with gusts of 15-20 miles per hour.
I feel invigorated by the change. It is my favorite time of year in Michigan as I have stated before.
The leaves will soon begin thier annual change of color leaving behind a rainbow that is a perfect picture of expressing life is good.
You cant help but feel good by weather like this. It puts bounce in your step.
Take time to enjoy your first real taste of Fall this year!

A magical mystery of sorts.

2005-09-27T18:36:00.000-04:00

For those of you who are not from Michigan, you should know that we have two holidays that most other states do not celebrate. In fact, these holidays are celebrated by thousands and thousands of people. Perhaps as many as a million or more each year take time off of thier jobs to attend the rituals associated with these holidays.
And these holidays inspire retailers who have joined in with new and exciting outfits and accesories to accompany the holidays. Some stores dedicate enitre departments of thier store strictly in support of this festive season. Other than Christmas no other holiday compares to the excitement nor the dollars spent.
October 1st and November 16th are days that are etched into the brains of Michiganders forever as well of those who have been in this state during our holiday season.
Interstates are clogged with processions of trucks, suvs and cars. Campers and motor homes join in as well.
Children are taught at a very young age about the rules of the celebration and must pass a test in order to participate. As you can tell these two holidays are taken very seriously here.
Construction companies, factories, and schools all take the holidays into consideration in the planning of attendence and schedules.
The celebrations are conducted outdoors during the daylight with nightime reserved for the retelling of each attendee's experience with great detail. No incident is too small not to be relived and retold time and time again upon each person they would come into contact with.

What two holidays would give such tremendous pleasure to so many that is not associated with a religous happening? What could possibly come so close to a religous experience for so many?
There is a magic in the mystery. Can you solve it? If your from Michigan. No fair giving it away!

Perchance to Love Again

2005-09-18T22:55:00.000-04:00

Today one of my co-workers asked me for advice. Advice about women. Now, before you piss your pants laughing, read on.

The man that asked for advice is my age or very well near it. His problem with the woman in question is one that has puzzeled us all for all long time. He has been searching for the perfect mate to love and does not know anylonger what is real and what is fabricated or shielded from him.

Like me he has been married twice already and is now seeing another woman looking for the same things....the same qualities that he looked before. Looking for those things we all seem to want but very few find. Dedication, passion, trust, and the famous "too numerous to mention."

For those of you who have found those things all in one person. Congratulations. For those that are still looking perhaps you should stick around for the ending.
I offer to you a different side. That being a side of constant contemplation of what love is.

My own perspective of love has changed over the years as I have grown older, as I have now gone through two marriages.
With each passing of those relationships I learned and I grew. I questioned not only the motives behind each break up but threw blame primarily on me both during and afterwards true or not.
Blaming myself so that I would spend countless hours contemplating how the next time I could make it better. How I could perhaps find if even by chance the perfect mate.

Carolyn and I have now been together nearly 7 years. Could she be the perfect mate? Could I
be hers?
Certainly this time the relationship grew easier for me than the previous two. Was it because we knew each other for 4 years prior for a total of 11 years?
What advice could I give another man in his search for his perfect mate when I dont know whether I have found mine or not. The advice is not easily given by most if put in the same situation. The answers most would give are pale or even avoided by most.

My answer to his question and what I hope is good advise actually came to me from conversation with my eleven year old earlier this summer. A reference to my age was involved of which I calmly stated that I was old. John-Taylor quickly offered a rebuttal. "Your not old Daddy! Now my Mom and Mark. (his step-father) Now that's old." At the time a broad smile entered my brain but never my exterior for my son to see. That night I ran the conversation over and over again like a video tape. It was late into the night when everyone else was asleep that I realized that despite my faults my son saw a totally different picture of me than did his mother or even myself. And in that small conversation came a true test of love no matter the who, what or when.

"Love is not finding the perfect person but seeing an imperfect person perfectly."

Thats the advice I gave my friend at work today. All from a conversation that started with my son.

That type of magic is some I could always use some more of.

Friday Night Lights

2005-09-17T09:46:00.000-04:00

Two weeks ago I attended the opening night of my old high school's football season. I had not been to a home opener for more than 33 years. I knew no one on the team. I just thought it would be neat to hear my old uniform number called on the P.A. system and was curious if a tall langly looking teen was wearing number 23 again.
Needless to say the changes were many.
A new football field at least to me as the location had changed to just outside of town instead of downtown next to Thread creek.
The booming voice of the announcer on the p.a was absent. Back in the day the principal of our school's deep baritone voice could be heard over booming speakers set up on both sides of the field. Instead we could barely hear Donald Duck in drag over a nearly non-existent speaker system.
In fact the public address system was so poor I'm sure that better sound could have produced by simply standing on the press box and shouting to the crowd.
I found this totally embarassing but not because I am a former broadcaster or because I was the public address announcer at this same high school more than thirty years ago for the junior varsity games but because the President of the school board is a broadcaster as well. Mike is a former radio guy and now is one of the local anchors of the TV station in Flint Michigan. Why didnt someone check out the equipment days before the game to make sure it was working properly. Squeaky voiced student or not that night, the annoucer that night deserved as did the crowd better than what they recieved. Besides the new athletic complex was named after our old school principal and former P.A. annoucer for goodness sakes. This was a travesty.
Other changes were evident as well. At least for this game. There was no longer a marching band. Instead 8 young high school ladies dressed in purple and black camo attire tried to dance to music they could not hear over the poor sounding p.a. system. Cant dance if you have no music. They quit after one song with looks of disgust and disapointment on thier face.

Besides misssing the marching band our school colors are blue and gold not purple and black.

Some things were the same despite my grouching to myself.

Cheerleaders led a non-enthusiastic crowd in cheer after cheer. I managed to eat a partially warmed hot dog with mustard that I had gotten from a crowded concession stand of band boosters. In fact I ate two. I figured with no marching band that they needed the help.

I scanned the field looking for my number on the the back of a uniform. I did not hear it on the broken speakers during the line up introductions. My number was missing. No where to be found. Not on the bench. Not on the field. Not even in the stands per chance on the back of an injured player who was sitting the game out. My number no longer existed. The result perhaps of them retiring my number to tell me I should retire from attending games at my former high school to feel nostalgic.
I decided tha I would leave the game at halftime with our team trailing in the score. Dejected that I would not hear my number called ever again.
On the drive home I would stop at a local grocery store to grab some milk, bread and deli meat for sandwiches when suddenly I heard it. "Number 23" I could not believe my ears. MY NUMBER.
It was being announced. I scanned the crowd looking for a tall skinny kid with a football jersey anxious to get a look. Perhaps my trip would not be wasted at all. I was suddenly pumped with energy. My heart was pounding with excitement. Could it be. I was almost speechless.
All of a sudden a small elderly woman nudged me in the side and said to me "thats you!". I remember thinking how would she know me from my playing days.
I collected my senses and pressed forward through the crowd. "That's me" I said. " I will have a pound of hard salami and a half pound of roast beef please, sliced thin".
It is sometimes amazing what a little magic will do.

A little magic please?

One of my Flint Radio friends

Radio Personality, Jeff Wade, raises money for Old Newsboys

by David Harris | The Flint Journal Tuesday December 09, 2008, 9:26 AM

The kid update.

Winter 2007 in Michigan

Happy Halloween

Caught and charged with fraud.

My how time flies.

The Holy Rollers

The magic of 72 virgins.....

The magic of growing up!

The Magic of Immigration.

The Magic of taking a walk on the wild side.

The Magic of Jerry Springer??????

The Magic of Three Day Weekends

The magic of the english language and Immigration.

The magic of celebrity!

The Magic of GOLF

The Magic of Sunday Morning Sex

The Magic of Golf and the mature man.

The Magic of High Gas Prices.

The Magic of a Strange World

The magic of Judas, Kelly Clarkson, DIck Cheney and Simon Cowell.

Magic in the News

The Magic of March Madness

Radio guys have a magic frequency.

The magic of being the President.

The magic of numbers from a friend.

Praise the lord and pass the magic.

Magic that brings you back again.

March Madness or Magic?

The magic man vs woman.

I'm Mad Magic.

Has the magic gone out of westerns?

That time of life....

Oh my...another magic holiday.

My funny Valentine

WHERE HAVE YA BEEN JOHNNY BOY?

I need the magic!!!!

The Magic of Laughter

Magic Mosaics are better in Michigan

The answer to the mystery

The magic of Fall.

A magical mystery of sorts.

Perchance to Love Again

Friday Night Lights

by David Harris | The Flint Journal
Tuesday December 09, 2008, 9:26 AM