The Magic of GOLF

Hauled out the clubs this weekend to bring back my swing from the grave.

1. Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: " Do you think you can keep your head down thatlong?"

2. Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."

3. Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."

4. Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually."

5. Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
Caddy: "I don't think so, sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."

6. Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction."
Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."

7. Golfer: "How do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good, sir, but, personally, I prefer golf."

8. Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?"
Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day."

9. Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."

10. Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old."
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir.".