The Magic of March Madness

The first NCAA Basketball game is slated for today. This is an annual rite for families to gather around the television and follow the action together. Children need to learn that there is more to life on TV than Texas Hold'em Poker.

The NCAA tournament works like this. First they start with 65, then 64, then 32 and then 16.
Just like the President's approval rating. (thanks to Dave Letteman for the last one)

Radio guys have a magic frequency.

A doctor in Vienna has discovered another reason why having an active sex life if good for you.

According to the doctor, the penis is "the antenna of the heart", and impotence can be an important warning sign of potential heart failure in men.

Dr. Stephan Madersbacher, head of urology at the Danube Hospital in Vienna, led the team of top Austrian scientists who conducted the study that led to this discovery.

Dr. Madersbacher found that men experiencing moderate to serious erectile dysfunction (i.e. impotence) had a 65% higher risk of a heart attack within 10 years. The study, which was done in conjunction with the Vienna City Council, also showed the risk of a stroke in impotent men was found to be 43% higher than in men who do not suffer erectile dysfunction.

"When erectile dysfunction is diagnosed by a urology specialist the patient should definitely be given a check up by a specialist in internal medicine," Dr. Madersbacher recommended.

He said the reason for the link is the similarity between the muscle and blood vessel cells of the penis and those in the heart. Damage to one is often an indicator of damage to both.

"If your penis is functioning well in terms of potency it is also a good sign of a healthy heart," added the doctor.

We mention that Dr. Madersbacher's study and findings as a way of reminding you that an active sex life is not only pleasurable, it is also a good indicator of a healthy heart. So keep your antennas up and operating, guys!

The magic of being the President.

Bowing to ferocious opposition in Congress, a Dubai-owned company signaled surrender today in its quest to take over operations at U.S. ports. Noting Congress ferocious opposition, President Bush exclaimed, "Who let the dogs out!?"
Ever staying the course, Bush threatened to veto Dubai's surrender.

The magic of numbers from a friend.

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder
to avoid hitting her.

This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and "flipped" the woman off.

"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself.

I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.

That's 96 miles each day.

Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.

Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.

There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.

That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.

That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.

Statistically, females drive half of these.

That's 18,000 women drivers!

In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.

That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding.

That's 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide.

That's 98.

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.

That's 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons, and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously
considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Flip one off? I think not.

Praise the lord and pass the magic.

Big trucks, big houses and big women. They like em' big in Texas. Including their churches. America's largest Church based in Houston, TX celebrated in grand style Sunday as it moved into it's new home, the former Compaq Center. The stadium that once hosted wild rock and roll concerts as well serving as home court for the Houston Rockets will now be home to over 16,000 raving and screaming fans of Jesus. "Turn out was very low during the first hour of worship." stated Pastor Joel Olsteen. "It wasn't a big surprise to me, our opening act was Genesis". Many church goer's where very pleased with the newly remodeled rock stadium turned house of worship. One section in the Church known as the "Dogma Pound" was very popular. This is were the die hard, hardcore worshipers sat. Waving big green foam hands with "Go Jesus" printed on them. We gathered some reactions from patrons as they exited the church. Julie Newmower explained, "Before I had to go down on 3 security guards just to get back stage. Now all I have to do is accept Christ as my savior and I'm in!" "I love how they kept the score-board in place. I could clearly see that Jesus is ahead by 15 points over Satan with only 10 seconds left in the sermon" However, not all in attendance were one hundred percent satisfied with their new chapel. "10 Dollars for a Bottle of Holy Water is an outrage!" said Ethel Johnson. "I was trying to signal for a hot dog vendors attention, when the next thing you know, I'm dedicating my life to Christ!" explained Joe Harrington. "During the hymnal "Rock of Ages" I was swept into a mosh pit that broke out first 3 pews. No more floor seating for me!" said Ilene Martinez. A few other members were disappointed not by the Church itself but for the fact that, as usual, Jesus was a no show. "I couldn't believe that he didn't show up, he was the headliner for God's sake! We built this Texas sized church for him, and he doesn't even bother to make an appearance via satellite on the big screen. I'm always told to just have faith in him, he will perform next Sunday for sure." exclaimed Martha Quaidly. One unique concept that this church has adapted that no other church in the United Sates has, is the "no passing of the collection plate" policy. All services are sponsored by Miller Lite, Budweiser and SBC.

Magic that brings you back again.

This blog has recieved more visits this week than anyother week since it began. Please leave a comment regarding what brings you back or even made you visit if this is your first time.
I want to make this so you read it time and time again and unless you freely give feedback I would be shooting in the dark. (please notice no Dick Cheney joke this time)
So leave a comment and then be off the to next site knowing you helped someone (meaning me) with a random act of kindness.

March Madness or Magic?

President Bush is making a surprise visit to Afganistan this morning then its off to India.
Last week he met with American workers. Today he visits thier old jobs.

The Oscars are Sunday. ABC is charging 1.7 million for every commercial. Just about the same amount I paid for tickets, popcorn and a coke last time we went. The Oscars are a place where the stars come out and stand on thier platforms and yell about the injustice of poverty and oppression and then take their complimentary baskets of goodies and walk thier $40,000.00 designer dressed fannies back to the Mercedes and go home.

Some of my favorites passed away during the last few days. Dennis Weaver and Don Knotts. Many have said I bear a resemblance to Knotts. I tell them I am his son and that Dad would be proud to hear it.
Don use to carry only one bullet in his pocket for use in his role as Barney Fife because he almost shot himself or was that Dick Cheney?

Another old radio friend passed two weeks ago. Don Keyes. You may not know him by name but chances are you heard his work. Don along with Gordon Mc Clendon were founders of Top Forty radio and All News Radio. Don never really got the credit he deserved. In fact his praise was always for others. I met Don in Tallahassee Florida where he struggeled with an AM station he had bought. He and I would compete for state contracts for narration work. His voice was deep and golden toned. I hired away his best employee to become my partner for one of my most successful morning jobs of my career rating wise. Don thought our show was major market potential. It was about the only thing he was wrong with I think in his radio career.
I will alway remember his laugh and smile.
God rest and bless his soul.